After a general examination, J.D's patient Mrs. Cropper asks if she needs a pelvic exam. J.D. says it's not necessary when all she has is a cold. But Mrs. Cropper won't let him leave, and tells him to go through her hard. Meanwhile, Turk is on a testosterone overload, challenging everyone in the doctor's lounge to "remote wrestling." In reception, Kelso tells a patient that he doesn't care that he had to wait over two hours for his appointment, and asks if anyone knows how to calm down the other patients. Janitor suggests a duck pond, but Kelso immediately shoots down this idea.
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Incensed by Kelso, Janitor decides to start a tabloid newspaper with Todd, Doug and Ted titled "The Janitorial." Ted is nominated as the investigative reporter no one will ever notice is around. Back in the wards, Elliot uses the men's room, as the women's restroom is closed for cleaning, and overhears Kelso on the phone with his wife. He's telling her that Sacred Heart's Board is going to force him to retire because of his age. She realizes she has to do something to help him, but what? Knowing the TV helps lull Sam to sleep, J.D. asks Cox if they can watch "The Sound Of Music." Cox agrees but Turk says J.D. has to wrestle him for control of the remote. A photo of the guys wrestling makes the cover of The Janitorial and J.D. and Turk get poster-size copies. Cox thinks J.D. is satisfied being a wimpy role model for Sam.
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Elliot feels sorry for Kelso and offers to help, but Kelso refuses. Overhearing their conversation, Carla introduces Elliot to John, her new patient, and asks what her secret is. Elliot refuses to tell. The first issue of The Janitorial is a success, and the tri-daily needs another issue before lunch. Cox thinks the paper is stupid and accuses Janitor of printing a fake interview with him. Janitor doesn't care and brushes him off. Meanwhile, Mr. Cropper confronts J.D. about the marks on his wife's back but before he can assault him, Turk steps in as the alpha male and intimidates the man into backing down. Cox shakes his head at J.D.'s wimpy reaction to the confrontation.
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When Elliot requests tests for her patient John, Carla wrongly guesses the secret she's keeping is that she is pregnant with Kelso's baby. Meanwhile, spending some quality time on the toilet, Cox reads The Janitorial which reports that his stinging personality is actually a big front he puts on to protect his vulnerable inner core of sadness, and in fact, all he needs is a hug. Cox is tortured now as the hospital staff all want to hug him. Elsewhere, Elliot tells her patient John he has breast cancer. He refuses to tell his family or accept help from anyone. Back swimming in the alpha-male soup, J.D. wrestles with Turk and knocks him out by accident but takes credit as the tough guy for once.
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Elliot can't understand why John is rejecting anyone's help and ponders why guys don't ask for help or share things. In front of Turk and J.D., Carla reminds her about when Turk had one of his testicles removed and only told his closest friend, J.D. Turk soon lets his wife know he didn't tell J.D. -- she just did. J.D. is stunned by the news while in the background, Ted makes hasty notes for The Janitorial. Later, Turk admits he's been over-compensating since his operation. He decides the only way to settle the alpha-male battle between them is to take a "Rocky III" freeze frame of the final blow in a mock fight. They take the shot and both claim bragging rights. Elliot and Carla tell Kelso that they will rally everyone in Sacred Heart to stop the board from retiring him. Kelso doesn't seem to care.
After a general examination, J.D's patient Mrs. Cropper asks if she needs a pelvic exam. J.D. says it's not necessary when all she has is a cold. But Mrs. Cropper won't let him leave, and tells him to go through her hard. Meanwhile, Turk is on a testosterone overload, challenging everyone in the doctor's lounge to "remote wrestling." In reception, Kelso tells a patient that he doesn't care that he had to wait over two hours for his appointment, and asks if anyone knows how to calm down the other patients. Janitor suggests a duck pond, but Kelso immediately shoots down this idea.
Incensed by Kelso, Janitor decides to start a tabloid newspaper with Todd, Doug and Ted titled "The Janitorial." Ted is nominated as the investigative reporter no one will ever notice is around. Back in the wards, Elliot uses the men's room, as the women's restroom is closed for cleaning, and overhears Kelso on the phone with his wife. He's telling her that Sacred Heart's Board is going to force him to retire because of his age. She realizes she has to do something to help him, but what? Knowing the TV helps lull Sam to sleep, J.D. asks Cox if they can watch "The Sound Of Music." Cox agrees but Turk says J.D. has to wrestle him for control of the remote. A photo of the guys wrestling makes the cover of The Janitorial and J.D. and Turk get poster-size copies. Cox thinks J.D. is satisfied being a wimpy role model for Sam.
Elliot feels sorry for Kelso and offers to help, but Kelso refuses. Overhearing their conversation, Carla introduces Elliot to John, her new patient, and asks what her secret is. Elliot refuses to tell. The first issue of The Janitorial is a success, and the tri-daily needs another issue before lunch. Cox thinks the paper is stupid and accuses Janitor of printing a fake interview with him. Janitor doesn't care and brushes him off. Meanwhile, Mr. Cropper confronts J.D. about the marks on his wife's back but before he can assault him, Turk steps in as the alpha male and intimidates the man into backing down. Cox shakes his head at J.D.'s wimpy reaction to the confrontation.
When Elliot requests tests for her patient John, Carla wrongly guesses the secret she's keeping is that she is pregnant with Kelso's baby. Meanwhile, spending some quality time on the toilet, Cox reads The Janitorial which reports that his stinging personality is actually a big front he puts on to protect his vulnerable inner core of sadness, and in fact, all he needs is a hug. Cox is tortured now as the hospital staff all want to hug him. Elsewhere, Elliot tells her patient John he has breast cancer. He refuses to tell his family or accept help from anyone. Back swimming in the alpha-male soup, J.D. wrestles with Turk and knocks him out by accident but takes credit as the tough guy for once.
Elliot can't understand why John is rejecting anyone's help and ponders why guys don't ask for help or share things. In front of Turk and J.D., Carla reminds her about when Turk had one of his testicles removed and only told his closest friend, J.D. Turk soon lets his wife know he didn't tell J.D. -- she just did. J.D. is stunned by the news while in the background, Ted makes hasty notes for The Janitorial. Later, Turk admits he's been over-compensating since his operation. He decides the only way to settle the alpha-male battle between them is to take a "Rocky III" freeze frame of the final blow in a mock fight. They take the shot and both claim bragging rights. Elliot and Carla tell Kelso that they will rally everyone in Sacred Heart to stop the board from retiring him. Kelso doesn't seem to care.
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